2021 Healthy Expectations

We are nearly 3 weeks into 2021... how's your year going?

(Warning, full disclosure post coming up...just so you know).  I have to say, I am waffling back and forth on how I'm doing.  Some days are great, and I'm motivated and hopeful and finding joy, and other days I tune in to everything going on, and I struggle a bit more.  Thankfully, for the most part my life is very sheltered from the harsh realities of the world right now.  My home is my safe haven and I only leave to go outside for play/exercise, or to the grocery store.  As a true introvert, this is my happy place, and I'm able to enjoy this space and quiet. 

At the same time, I still battle the balancing act of keeping everything going at home.  The other day, I was gently reminded by my husband of the hyper-reality of many posts on Instagram.  I have to admit, I get sucked into the comparison game when I see these stay-at-home moms, with their perfect Instagram feed, gorgeous home decor, home cooked meals, and peaceful homeschool education.  It lures me in, and I become discontent with where I am at.  I was reminded that these "Influencers" usually work full-time on their Instagram as their income, and spend hours creating a space for one single photo, and are not usually working full-time outside of the home as well.  It helps me to readjust my expectations.

I don't have huge resolutions for this year, but one thing I know I need to work on, is that area of self grace.  Too often I set standards for myself that no one else expects of me, and then I get stressed and frustrated when I don't meet them.  I daily have to remind myself, that the current state of affairs (pandemic life from home) is NOT reality, and that it IS challenging, and it is OK if I struggle from time to time.  Somehow I had told myself that since we are all home more often, I "should" be able to homeschool, and keep a perfectly clean home, and make scratch-made nutritious meals every day, and exercise, and have well-rounded kids who are at the top of their class, and maintain my full-time career....

See!?!?!  Can you name anyone who can achieve all of those lofty goals at the same time???  And yet, I try.  I try, and when I fail, I get upset with myself...(and those around me who contribute to the reality of chaos).  

So this year, I am trying (by God's grace), to be more gracious to myself.  To accept my limitations, and to practice gratitude even in the chaos, and the mess, and the disorganization, and the struggle.  And when those moments happen, that I do get to enjoy a clean house, and peaceful children, and a home cooked loaf of sourdough, I WILL enjoy... but I won't let these things define my worth, and I'll work on not letting the "lacks" set me off so much.  That's all.