It has been 5 months, officially, since I became intentionally unemployed.
The first three months of that were exceedingly busy: getting a house ready to sell, packing, moving, unpacking, and settling the family into new job, church, and school. The past two months now have been like catching your breath after a long run. I've still felt like I'm huffing and puffing, trying to keep up, even though my plate is much lighter than it has been in a long time. I have called it the recovery period.
It's an interesting place to be in, not to be in the work force, without having a new baby at home. My days are still very full, but not with the stress or pressure that ever existed before. I still get up early in the morning with the kids, make breakfast, clean up, get ready, and get everyone out the door. We drive Dan to work and then head out to a park, or swimming lessons, or grocery shopping. We come home for lunch and then I take them to kindergarten. Then the stopwatch is on, because 3 kid-free hours goes by SO quickly! I go to the gym, or walk the dog, or sometimes take a nap. I run some errands or do some cleaning or just sit for a moment and enjoy a cup of coffee and blog. The time is then up. It's time to pick up the kids, come home, make a snack, start making dinner, pick up Dan, eat dinner, and then go through the whole bedtime routine. It is full, yet relaxed. I am never bored. Sometimes I do go through days (going on 4 today) only seeing Dan and the kids, and not leaving my little neighbourhood. And I love it.
I know it sounds cliche, but I am trying to intentionally slow down and allow myself to enjoy this time of rest and grace.
For some reason, something clicked this past week and I suddenly felt an urge like I needed to start looking for a job, and imagining what the next chapter of my life will be. It felt like I was finally content in the slower pace of life, and yet my brain wanted me to skip past that and fill up my time all over again. I am defying that urge. For one thing, it's not practical with the kids only in half day school. But more importantly, I really want to learn about God's grace to me in this time of doing "nothing" substantial or (in my eyes) important. That's what I mean about slowing down. I believe God can be found in the mundane, menial tasks of life, just as much as in the grand, showy moments of spirituality. I want to find God here.
In preparing yet another snack for my ravenous kids.
In snuggling on the couch and reading stories together.
In brushing the dog.
In going for a walk in the sunshine, while I listen to music.
In folding the mountains of laundry.
In driving Dan to work.
In sitting watching swimming lessons and chatting with the other moms.
In hosting a playdate for the boys' friends.
In baking a batch of cookies to be enjoyed by my family.
I know that not everyone has this kind of opportunity. I feel so grateful for this special season in my life. And yet I am also excited about what is to come... in its time...!
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